Introducing Myself

After almost 40 years away I have moved back to the bosom of my family and discovered that I am the scapegoat.  For much of the last 3+ decades I thought it was only because we were on the opposite side politically and also that I am not religious enough(we were not raised with religion).  Living far away meant that we only had to manage to get along for short visits through the years but after I moved back there were so many more incidents of mean spirited teasing and I realized there was more to it.  I've since distanced myself from them all and I am happier.  My question, and that's why I'm here, is.....Once we have better understanding and start establishing the necessary boundaries in all of our relationships, is it typical to have a turbulent time with old and new friends as well?  

Having been fascinated, as well as overwhelmed with this new information, I shared it with people.  It's so hard to stay in the closet with something so life altering, but I think that may have been a mistake. People really don't seem to understand and I think upon hearing my story tend to be wary of me.  Is this a common response?

I am just scratching the surface of the information and I have shared it with my husband and especially my kids.  The kids are smart and open to new info, not so my siblings.  This course is helping me to see what I am doing and how I am affecting them with my histrionics and vulnerabilities.  I could never mention this to a few of my brothers and never to my stepmother.  Be patient and it may all work out, I have learned that you can lead a horse to water...  Welcome, dear one.

Introducing myself: Belgium, 26years, social work and I love my job. Love to run as well!!
My osteopath showed me the youtube channel and I got quite interested. Especially because it explained a lot of things I didn't understand.

Basically: child abuse and neglect and I never got proper help until this year. Narcissistic dad/brother, codependent bipolar mom who caused me a lot of pain and suffer and I let them until I was 25. So now I'm trying to do the right thing for myself along with all this nasty feelings they left me with. Recently I digged back into old files of court and child/youth care. Needed to know the truth and face it because I was mimimalizing my past. At the moment I think I'm in emotional flashbacks most of the time. Quite overwhelming at the moment, but I'll be fine. My past might hurt but for the first time in life I choose what's right for me.

Nice to be here, I'm curious about this forum.

violetpeacock - Yes, I do think it is a common response. At least it's been my experience. Remembering that many people don't see the narc the way we do helps. And many people just can't understand certain things if they haven't lived it.

Good for you finding this space. At least here you will have "kindred spirits" who do understand what you're saying. It's very isolating when you try to talk to people and they think you're the crazy one or at the very least, they just don't get it.

violetpeacock - It is common and almost expected that some close relationships go turbulent during some period after setting clear personal boundaries. The people who learn to respect your needs, and understand it has nothing personal to do with them- will stay close / drift back to you.

I was not long ago reading Pete Walkers book on CPTSD again and the importance of "non-minimizing" the facts of ones childhood neglect, it is an important way step in healing, as it is only when we become objective that we can fully accept and grief that past (and thereby heal).

All the best,
Leyla