Hello. My Introduction

Hi everyone. Iv been trying to get out of the abyss for over a year. Emotionally I mean, and without Richie I wouldnt have got this far. But it's still really difficult sometimes.
I was with my partner for ten years. He tortured me mentally and emotionally, sexually, financially, a few times physically, and I eventually was discarded. Again. And toyed with. Again. But I jumped ship and it's the scariest thing ever. I know I'm in a safe place here tho. I have so many issues now but I'm fighting and haven't yet gone under. I'm glad I found Richie and this place.i finally decided to do my intro as tomorrow I'm breaking all the injunctions and going away by myself. I'm terrified as I haven't ventured far from home in over a year. I have absolutely no one to talk to or support me. I loathe he still on some levels has a hold on me. Tonight I'm not in a good place. Full of guilt and sorrow I'm going against rules made by a figment of my imagination who has no say anymore and who isn't even really here other than in my head. I don't care if I have a breakdown tomorrow I'm getting on that plane x