Introduction

When my boyfriend left me for another woman in October, I had no knowledge about narcisstic abuse. I was left feeling crazy, fat, uggly and not good enough for anyone.  My exboyfriend accused me of being a psycopath, so around Christmas I googled to find out if he was right. Well, I was in for a big surprice. When I learned about the red flags I realized I was a victim of narcisstic abuse.

Since then, the learning curb has been rather steep. I have watched you tube, I have read books, i have searched every possible Source of wisdom on this topic and I am getting wiser by the day. I am ever so thankfull to the work of Spartan Life Coach. You have made this complex material easy to understand. Trough the "First aid kit" I found Tools that helped me Coop With my situation.

I knew the relationship was unhealthy. Trough the 3 years we where together he broke up With me 27 times, always claiming that it was "something wrong" With me that he could not pinpoint. So I went NC in october, without knowing how important this was. I also wrote a cronological journal of all the crazyness. Its been a rough Journey, but finally I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi Mistral,

Welcome to the forum.

It is truly chocking and heartbreaking to find yourself in the post-discard realization phase. I am so sorry for what you have been through. It sounds incredibly abusive and manipulative... was he ever doubting his own intents and sanity, or only blaming you? How are you doing these days?

Are you still using the first aid kit? I am so glad to read that it is helping.

Best wishes,
Leyla Loric

Hi Leyla.

Thank you for the reply.

He would pretend that he was doubting his own intents and sanity, but he didn't really mean that. Because after hours of explanations of regret he would turn around and do the same again and again and again. So the words didn't mach the actions. Paulo Coelho said something like; everbody can do a mistake but when you repeat the mistake, its no longer a mistake but a choice.

Then he would blame me. The list of poor personal qualities would grow longer and longer. I went from the best of the best to the lowest of the low.

Today I understand it is all a game to him as I see him do exactly the same act towards his new supply.

Further you ask me how I am doing today. And I am proud to say that I am doing so much better. In a way he has done me a big favor. By being so awfull, he has pushed me towards all this new knowledge of psychology and therefor so much new knowledge about myself. I found a long string of unhealty relationships (partners, friends and even family). So this problem is not about him anymore, it's about me.

Today I know that my future relationships are going to be good and healty. I have a lot of work in front of me, but I am ready to do the job. Thanks to the first aid kit, I am on my way to recovery. I have been using it for 4 weeks and I really feel progress. I really liked your 2 latest books, "How to stop an emotional flashback" and "How to take revenge on a narcissist". The first one gave me some good technics. The seecond one, good insight.

Thank you, again.

Mistral