Narcissist in family court

Hi Richard.

My friend sent me a video of yours a few weeks ago and I firmly believe my ex is a narcissist. I only really learned about the real him after he walked out on me and our 11 mo old daughter. He stayed away until I filed papers in court and every day has been a war for full custudy by ANY means necessary. I'm not sure if gory details are necessary, but.... he is presentable in court, but displays absolutely no emotion. He'll lie to the judge or say anything to anyone to be seen in the best light even if he is called out on it, he stopped and look at you with his head cocked. He's so tactful about making and creating chaos, via parenting email, when brought to the judge, it's said I don't participate he points out I'm an uninvolved mom and the judge jumps my $hit. So my 1" leash has me watching his every move, I'm basically on top of him. Gross. I'm using tactics out if a book called Divorce Poison to combat the effect of brainwashing on my now 3 year old daughter, which he has 5 days a week. How on earth do I prove to the judge he's a narcissist? Because he in court has attacked me on bonding issues, that's why she's with him now. Any advice?

Thanks in advance. Blessings.
Sara

Hi Sara,

I am dealing with something very similar. I just got an email (of many) from my ex where he twists everything to make me look bad, when he himself is the one doing these things. My daughter is a little older (almost but the courts have eaten his stuff and I'm trying to learn quickly. My mind is still somewhat slow (but much better than when the trauma first reared its ugly head), and I appreciate the book recommendation. Do you know of support groups for this. My ex did abuse our daughter and I am concerned for her safety. I am trying to do what I can to stop this cycle but I feel so ill equipped in life for this.

Much love to you.
Sara Rose

I am so sorry you're going through this and it is my worse nightmare. My ex and is mom tried to get me to abort my daughter and when I wouldn't comply they discarded me literally just cut me off from their lives and have wrecked havoc ever since. My ex before I knew anything of NPD just popped in and out of my life emploiting and manipulating me throughout the pregnancy and first year of my daughters life. I caught on just several months ago. Now she is almost 18 months and I have found out he has been telling the world what a lying evil crazy person I am and how he is going to take my daughter from me because he can provide a better life for her. To date he has not started any court proceedings (mostly because he knows that I know he main source of income is the drugs he sells and uses) I know when we go to court I will be going to court with the most altruistic, humble ex combat veteran who is on disability from the war (not from combat trauma but because he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes) he is the victim and martyr in every scenario and a wonderful humble actor.

I am in a constant state of anxiety about this topic. His actions have never once met his words in reference to my daughter my family court isn't prone to listening to these situations.

Anything anyone comes across to help people in this situation please do share.

Find their weak spots or vulnerabilities. What are they insecure about? Find a way of bringing this up in court and he will go ballistic. You could go full reverse psychology and pretend you dont want custody anymore, in fact that you want him to take her. Narcs need to feel triumphant, if he feels youve lost and he has won, you can get what you need. Be careful and dont forget to mirror his emotions in court, if you start screaming and shouting whilst he is calm, how do you think this will look?

I found this video very helpful regarding how to behave in a court setting



My divorce/custody hearing will take place on the 24th this month...

PS would be nice if Richard will do a video on this topic