Feeling the feelings vs. state management

At what point does pushing through the feelings (in order to heal) conflict with physiological state management?  Thanks!!!

For me, I am focusing on allowing myself to always acknowledge whatever I feel but without getting sucked into it...I guess I would describe this as a kind of detached observer status, as in my feelings occur within me but I am not governed or owned by them. Practicing that has helped me spot a flashback, because almost always if I feel like I am getting sucked in, it's a flashback...I find I am able to maintain that engaged observer state with moment to moment emotions. I don't know if that helps at all...this is a tricky thing to navigate, I feel you.

For me, it has been an up-and-down journey. At first, it was very difficult to both acknowledge my feelings and somehow not be overwhelmed or controlled by them. I only allowed myself to consciously "feel the feels" when I was alone and I didn't have anything I had to do (like work my job or be in a social situation). With practice, time, and some imperfect and messy situations...I am growing in my ability to know and acknowledge my feelings without being totally sucked into them. I'm still a work in progress and sometimes I swing too far in one direction or another, but I am progressing. I think the important thing here is to give yourself grace in the process and know it may be messy at times, and that not everybody will understand and that's okay. What's important is to keep working at it and moving forward!!

Thank you both so much for your thoughtful input, I think there are situations where both suggestions will be helpful.  I struggle to allow myself grace; the concept is so foreign to me!  

Btw, I named my detached observer "Dexter" after the character in the show...heheheh!!!

If you havent already, I *highly* recommend Pete Walker's 'Tao of fully feeling'. He explains how, when we start to acknowledge our feelings and allow ourselves to emote, it actually dissipates them quite quickly. "Pushing through feelings" , or rather- allowing them some freedom, in the right time and safe space, will actually help with state management, because you are allowing the feelings out and accepting them, not repressing them.
He writes so wonderfully, please give it a go!

For me, there is no conflict at all. The more I feel my feels, the more clarity I have and the less muddy my feelings are, so that they no longer scare me or overwhelm me, which makes state mamagment easier. I find it all a positive upward cycle, although when I started out, it was terrifying and a muddy mess...it's becoming something I am grateful for now.