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Hi Richard
I have spent hours over the last 6 months studying your clips and also those of Sam Vaknin.
Initially, it was for the intention of getting over my ex boyfriend, but I have gradually realized that pretty much all of my significant painful relationships have been with Narcissistic types also. The most painful thing I have learnt is what it is in me that is drawing me to these relationships and that is my father. My father has always told me that we have a "special bond" and since reading the book "Silently Seduced" by Kenneth Adams, I have come to realize that my relationship with my father has been emotionally incestuous. He is nearly 80 and I still visit him every week to do his laundry/cleaning etc. And this is despite always feeling uncomfortable and "icky" around him.
Last week we had a row over what happened in my teenage years where I was emotionally groomed by my fathers business partner when I was 16 which resulted in my running away with this man to live with him, his wife and his children. I lived with this man (a narcissist) for 5 years looking after his children whilst his wife developed a career, before I developed the wherewithal to run away from him also. During the row my father told me that I need to learn to accept responsibility for the mistakes I made as a child. He tells me that I cannot blame my mother for my childhood unhappiness when she left my sister and I when I was 4 years old. He also tells me that I cannot blame my stepmother's cruelty for struggling with my confidence as a teenager and that I cannot blame him for running away with a 40year old married man with no teeth...(true lol)
He tells me that I am a narcissist for not accepting responsibility for my life choices and I have feared this myself. However, I feel as if I have only started growing up since going through all this. And that maybe I am going through the childhood narcissistic phase that all kids go through in order to develop a sense of self and gain some healthy confidence. My question is how do I know for sure? I have watch Good Will Hunting and blubbed like a baby but I'm still scared because I have been self obsessed in the last few years. I am aware that I have difficulty trusting my intuition/instincts.
I also have another question. How do I let go of my father? I sense that I should do, I have not done his cleaning for nearly 2 weeks and he is very angry. He is demanding to know what is wrong with me. He says that if I am not going to come back then to send his key back. I just feel stuck and I can't stop crying. He has always been "daddy" even though my flesh creeps every time I am around him. As I write this I sense that I am asking you for confirmation that letting go of my father is the right thing to do.
I hope this all makes sense.
Angelina
I have spent hours over the last 6 months studying your clips and also those of Sam Vaknin.
Initially, it was for the intention of getting over my ex boyfriend, but I have gradually realized that pretty much all of my significant painful relationships have been with Narcissistic types also. The most painful thing I have learnt is what it is in me that is drawing me to these relationships and that is my father. My father has always told me that we have a "special bond" and since reading the book "Silently Seduced" by Kenneth Adams, I have come to realize that my relationship with my father has been emotionally incestuous. He is nearly 80 and I still visit him every week to do his laundry/cleaning etc. And this is despite always feeling uncomfortable and "icky" around him.
Last week we had a row over what happened in my teenage years where I was emotionally groomed by my fathers business partner when I was 16 which resulted in my running away with this man to live with him, his wife and his children. I lived with this man (a narcissist) for 5 years looking after his children whilst his wife developed a career, before I developed the wherewithal to run away from him also. During the row my father told me that I need to learn to accept responsibility for the mistakes I made as a child. He tells me that I cannot blame my mother for my childhood unhappiness when she left my sister and I when I was 4 years old. He also tells me that I cannot blame my stepmother's cruelty for struggling with my confidence as a teenager and that I cannot blame him for running away with a 40year old married man with no teeth...(true lol)
He tells me that I am a narcissist for not accepting responsibility for my life choices and I have feared this myself. However, I feel as if I have only started growing up since going through all this. And that maybe I am going through the childhood narcissistic phase that all kids go through in order to develop a sense of self and gain some healthy confidence. My question is how do I know for sure? I have watch Good Will Hunting and blubbed like a baby but I'm still scared because I have been self obsessed in the last few years. I am aware that I have difficulty trusting my intuition/instincts.
I also have another question. How do I let go of my father? I sense that I should do, I have not done his cleaning for nearly 2 weeks and he is very angry. He is demanding to know what is wrong with me. He says that if I am not going to come back then to send his key back. I just feel stuck and I can't stop crying. He has always been "daddy" even though my flesh creeps every time I am around him. As I write this I sense that I am asking you for confirmation that letting go of my father is the right thing to do.
I hope this all makes sense.
Angelina
