Home
I hope I'm doing this right...So I am having a lot of issues lately with trying to find a good therapist. I had moved from one city to another about 6 months ago and in July I finally got settled enough to try therapy again.
I've been in and out of therapy for 10 years and that whole time I feel like I've only had one therapist that was truly helpful. That was about 2 years ago when I was going to school and getting married (I eventually had to stop seeing the good therapist because I had graduated school and had to do an internship, etc.)
I didnt have therapy until I went through a terrible depression in 2015 working the night shift (my first job in this career) at a hospital and had a textbook Narc for a boss. She was a really extreme version of my mom and I was left in flashbacks every time i had to see her. The depression got so bad I had to drag myself out of the black hole and start therapy again.
The first lady I saw was about my age (late 20's) and she kicked my ass enough to get me out of the hole, but when I wanted to talk about the past she would throw it under the rug and that was not helpful to me at all. She also wasnt married so she didnt know how to help me deal with some of those issues of being newly married (my night shift job was taking a toll on my marriage because all I wanted to do was sleep, and I hardly ever saw my husband because he had a day job). I think she was on some kind of probation period starting out and she had to record our sessions so she could show the boss. Eventually she "left" and they put me with someone else; the new lady said she got fired but I wasnt told till after the fact. So at that point I wanted to get out all of this shit I was going through and luckily moved again because I had gotten a day job. This move definitely helped my marriage, but I'm still feeling a little smothered at times because my parents got divorced so I dont want to mess up this marriage but at the same time intimacy is fucking scary and I know I need to work on this. I know its part of the CPSTD stuff.
So in July I finally got the courage to start therapy with a new person. The first session went pretty well because I felt validated, but it didnt last long because the next week I was literally 10 mins away from the building to our Appt and she cancels on me...so i was pretty upset but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. We resched for the next week. I show up and she has booked someone else instead: she "forgot" about our appt, even though we confirmed in writing through text. I was so devistated by this I obviously said fuck that and booked a new person.
So i've been to 2 sessions with this person and yet again, she wants to deny the past and pretend like it doesnt matter. She told me I need to confront my mom about why I hate talking to her (she brings on the guilt trips and all she does is complain - so i have limited contact by text with her). Dont even get me started on my mom's shit: lets just say she is really fucked up and wants me to be her supply when my sister or my step-dad are gone.
Okay, so sorry for the book of my life but what do I need to look for in a therapist so I can get this shit healing? I'm pretty fed up on the bullshit of CBT and Solution Based therapy because its not helping. I'm interested in buying one or more of your courses, but i get overwhelmed by all the choices and dont really know where to start. Thanks for your time Richard, I hope you read this.
I've been in and out of therapy for 10 years and that whole time I feel like I've only had one therapist that was truly helpful. That was about 2 years ago when I was going to school and getting married (I eventually had to stop seeing the good therapist because I had graduated school and had to do an internship, etc.)
I didnt have therapy until I went through a terrible depression in 2015 working the night shift (my first job in this career) at a hospital and had a textbook Narc for a boss. She was a really extreme version of my mom and I was left in flashbacks every time i had to see her. The depression got so bad I had to drag myself out of the black hole and start therapy again.
The first lady I saw was about my age (late 20's) and she kicked my ass enough to get me out of the hole, but when I wanted to talk about the past she would throw it under the rug and that was not helpful to me at all. She also wasnt married so she didnt know how to help me deal with some of those issues of being newly married (my night shift job was taking a toll on my marriage because all I wanted to do was sleep, and I hardly ever saw my husband because he had a day job). I think she was on some kind of probation period starting out and she had to record our sessions so she could show the boss. Eventually she "left" and they put me with someone else; the new lady said she got fired but I wasnt told till after the fact. So at that point I wanted to get out all of this shit I was going through and luckily moved again because I had gotten a day job. This move definitely helped my marriage, but I'm still feeling a little smothered at times because my parents got divorced so I dont want to mess up this marriage but at the same time intimacy is fucking scary and I know I need to work on this. I know its part of the CPSTD stuff.
So in July I finally got the courage to start therapy with a new person. The first session went pretty well because I felt validated, but it didnt last long because the next week I was literally 10 mins away from the building to our Appt and she cancels on me...so i was pretty upset but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. We resched for the next week. I show up and she has booked someone else instead: she "forgot" about our appt, even though we confirmed in writing through text. I was so devistated by this I obviously said fuck that and booked a new person.
So i've been to 2 sessions with this person and yet again, she wants to deny the past and pretend like it doesnt matter. She told me I need to confront my mom about why I hate talking to her (she brings on the guilt trips and all she does is complain - so i have limited contact by text with her). Dont even get me started on my mom's shit: lets just say she is really fucked up and wants me to be her supply when my sister or my step-dad are gone.
Okay, so sorry for the book of my life but what do I need to look for in a therapist so I can get this shit healing? I'm pretty fed up on the bullshit of CBT and Solution Based therapy because its not helping. I'm interested in buying one or more of your courses, but i get overwhelmed by all the choices and dont really know where to start. Thanks for your time Richard, I hope you read this.
