narcasist, feeling very dim and manipulated

trying very hard to get out of a relationship with what i believe to be a narcasist, everything is text book, hes gaslighted me, completely ruined my self esteem, contantlt triangulating me with his exs and new women,i do think theres some fight in me but he has 2 holds over me, 1 is he knows about some abuse when i was a child, wich would absoloutely tear my life apart if it got out, and no 2 he is saying he feels suicidle this is massive to me as my brother commited suicide and my godson, as you can imagine im petrified, i cannot bear the weight of it, its making me very ill. i know he doesnt love me n wondering weather just to play game till a new suply comes along for him, or rise up, n get rid, 1 option i wsd thinking was he has new counseller he can afford these n has had at least 3 in past 2 years, all advise him to get away from his abusive girlfriend :-) ironically i wish he would but hes above there advice too i suppose, could i offload the suicide stuff in email to her? or is that dead dodgy? i just am crumbling under this threat, he said he would leave a letter implicating me too :-( i feel so trapped i feel suicidle when im with him as he constantly telling me im bdp, from family of nutters, old, twisted jelous, its so hard to take, yet the threats petrifying me,i know i should walk, but i cant carry that weight after my bro n godson, what serious option do i have?
thanks for any input  

I broke up with an ex once who pulled the suicidal card... I went home, called up his siblings (whose phone numbers I had) and suggested they put him under suicide watch. They thanked me. I was not responsible to stay with an unworkable relationship because of his mental instability.... I WAS responsible to alert someone close to him that he was taking he breakup BADLY.

If the narcissist can be made to think HE is the one who wants the breakup, that you were never good enough for him and all that, he will move on more readily. He will only let go when he WANTS to let go. Let those close to him tell him he is too good for you and stroke his ego.... you know in your heart YOU deserve better.

thankyou for reply im at my wits end, do you think i should tel his counseller? iv near enought got him to admit everything in a email?

If you tell his counselor, you are likely to enrage him and he will lash out at you feeling betrayed.

Narcissists believe they are perfect, without blame, without culpability, and that everyone ELSE is the problem.

Be careful. When they get into a state of rage, it is not easy to calm them down. That's been my experience.

It is better to tell a mutal friend that you both know or a family member of his that you know how to reach if you two have broken up and he has pulled the suicidal card. You are NOT responsible if he commits suicide.... but it is good to take rational steps to ask someone to watch over him till he calms down whom he can feel ok about.... with Sam I called his siblings. They put him under suicide watch as they were in the area, and his sister called me and thanked me for preventing him from self-harm.