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This is what might happen to you if you don't stick to the NCEA protocol. This partner may or may not be a narcissist, but I think the bottomline is the same: abusive partner.
Euronews
PS. It seems to me that the NCEA protocol should be implemented with determination. However, reality is usually more complicated than just leaving someone else. Most of the time the victim is left with nothing, no friends, no money, no possessions, nothing at all. Then, how on earth can you manage to apply the NCEA protocol?
I can tell of a case, not mine, that after many many years with a narc, when she found out the Truth, she didn't leave him because she couldn't. She didn't have anything.
Instead, she pretended she didn't know anything and worked a scape plan in the background. As narcs and psychopaths are so confident, it was way too easy to and effortless to make him believe the situation was the same. She found a job and asked for psychological help in secret. She told a lawyer. She kept this situation in secret FOR A F. YEAR!!!!!!!! (I don't think I would have been able to do hold myself for this long living next to a dangerous person like that). I think what saved her to cope with this situation for so long, it's that she wasn't fully aware of how dangerous her partner was, she only realised about.. let's say 5% of the Truth. I don't think she could have managed to do it so well knowing the type of predator she had next to her.
She showed an amazing level of self control and strength after 35 years living with the narc. She's now 70 years old. She's my mother. Her courage saved us from an even more dramatic situation at the time. She didn't have any money to feed us. She didn't have the internet or anything to ask for help at all.
Fortunately, the program to help victims of abusive relationships in the country worked very well this time and helped her. They even found a job for her. Unfortunately government cuts made to this program left it with very poor resources. It happened a miracle because my mother could take advantage of the last time the program was good and active.
This belongs to a different topic, but despite being so wrong about the nature of abuse, these programs can really save lives and the money spent is necessary. I know - the don't seem to understand how all the thing works, and they only help women, but removing this partial help is even worse than having nothing at all, IMO. I just hope there's some progress in the right direction some time.
So, my mother's mental health is not in good shape. Year after year she's getting a bit better, but it's taking time. DON'T LISTEN to psychologists if they tell you that "you're too old". This is what the psychologist told me and my mother about the abusive life we had, like, "give up because you're going to die soon, so it's not worth it".
I think these type of answers from someone working in the health field are criminal. Fortunately I didn't listen to this psychologist, and I tried to help my mother on my own way, but these words hurt us and brought us down even more when we needed desperate help....
Euronews
PS. It seems to me that the NCEA protocol should be implemented with determination. However, reality is usually more complicated than just leaving someone else. Most of the time the victim is left with nothing, no friends, no money, no possessions, nothing at all. Then, how on earth can you manage to apply the NCEA protocol?
I can tell of a case, not mine, that after many many years with a narc, when she found out the Truth, she didn't leave him because she couldn't. She didn't have anything.
Instead, she pretended she didn't know anything and worked a scape plan in the background. As narcs and psychopaths are so confident, it was way too easy to and effortless to make him believe the situation was the same. She found a job and asked for psychological help in secret. She told a lawyer. She kept this situation in secret FOR A F. YEAR!!!!!!!! (I don't think I would have been able to do hold myself for this long living next to a dangerous person like that). I think what saved her to cope with this situation for so long, it's that she wasn't fully aware of how dangerous her partner was, she only realised about.. let's say 5% of the Truth. I don't think she could have managed to do it so well knowing the type of predator she had next to her.
She showed an amazing level of self control and strength after 35 years living with the narc. She's now 70 years old. She's my mother. Her courage saved us from an even more dramatic situation at the time. She didn't have any money to feed us. She didn't have the internet or anything to ask for help at all.
Fortunately, the program to help victims of abusive relationships in the country worked very well this time and helped her. They even found a job for her. Unfortunately government cuts made to this program left it with very poor resources. It happened a miracle because my mother could take advantage of the last time the program was good and active.
This belongs to a different topic, but despite being so wrong about the nature of abuse, these programs can really save lives and the money spent is necessary. I know - the don't seem to understand how all the thing works, and they only help women, but removing this partial help is even worse than having nothing at all, IMO. I just hope there's some progress in the right direction some time.
So, my mother's mental health is not in good shape. Year after year she's getting a bit better, but it's taking time. DON'T LISTEN to psychologists if they tell you that "you're too old". This is what the psychologist told me and my mother about the abusive life we had, like, "give up because you're going to die soon, so it's not worth it".
I think these type of answers from someone working in the health field are criminal. Fortunately I didn't listen to this psychologist, and I tried to help my mother on my own way, but these words hurt us and brought us down even more when we needed desperate help....