Home
I, too, find your videos the most helpful information I've received regardless of counseling.
After fairly rapid progress surviving a covert narcissist in marriage now I feel stalled. All of the sudden I'm getting these seemingly innocent & fleeting childhood recollections about family. Some are pleasant and I have no idea why such fleeting events of so long ago are suddenly appearing. Others, unpleasant, and I'm tired of remembering those kinds of pain about my parents/siblings. I get it: my childhood was painfully emotionally abusive. I get it: my narcissistic marriage was miserable because that felt like 'home.' I get it: my family hates me because I'm an easy target. (I lost relationships with a husband, an only daughter and numerous extended family, all in the course of a couple of years.) I'm finally where I don't totally blame myself (there was a lifetime of scapegoating and narcissism transpiring). I just want to feel normally happy again. Was I ever normally happy? I feel like I'm never going to get there.
After divorce & loss of family I isolated myself. I am miserably lonely, leading me to a sense of total uselessness, but that feels better than risking other people. I can't fathom having anyone in my life again (friend or companion). I got a dog, lol. That helps. I keep thinking if I could replace old memories with new ones, by making new relationships, new memories would replace the bad ones. Is that reasonable? Am I shooting myself in the foot by remaining so isolated? The thought of getting out among people is so distasteful I don't even know if I could force myself to do it?
After fairly rapid progress surviving a covert narcissist in marriage now I feel stalled. All of the sudden I'm getting these seemingly innocent & fleeting childhood recollections about family. Some are pleasant and I have no idea why such fleeting events of so long ago are suddenly appearing. Others, unpleasant, and I'm tired of remembering those kinds of pain about my parents/siblings. I get it: my childhood was painfully emotionally abusive. I get it: my narcissistic marriage was miserable because that felt like 'home.' I get it: my family hates me because I'm an easy target. (I lost relationships with a husband, an only daughter and numerous extended family, all in the course of a couple of years.) I'm finally where I don't totally blame myself (there was a lifetime of scapegoating and narcissism transpiring). I just want to feel normally happy again. Was I ever normally happy? I feel like I'm never going to get there.
After divorce & loss of family I isolated myself. I am miserably lonely, leading me to a sense of total uselessness, but that feels better than risking other people. I can't fathom having anyone in my life again (friend or companion). I got a dog, lol. That helps. I keep thinking if I could replace old memories with new ones, by making new relationships, new memories would replace the bad ones. Is that reasonable? Am I shooting myself in the foot by remaining so isolated? The thought of getting out among people is so distasteful I don't even know if I could force myself to do it?
