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can you please help all of us who are forced into being the only one in the family who will take this caregiving monster on. How do you turn off the secret hate you feel for this person who so abused you emotionally? How do you stop wishing they would just die already so you could finally live? How do you turn off the guilt and shame of feeling this way? How do you stop the joyful feeling of peace in the thought of suicide six feet down sounds like heaven right now. I had to put her in a nursing home for medical reasons but I cant stay away I am there everyday for about 4 hours making sure they are giving her the best care I cant stop even though hospice has come in. I was taught her very happiness was my responsibility and I tried very hard my whole life to do it I never achieved it she wouldn't let me so I still continue. how do I stop? how can I feel ok stopping it.
