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Hi i am new here and in a state of utter confusion. I moved back to the country I was born in recently after living abroad for a number of years.
I joined a church and met Mr wonderful. Having not had a relationship by choice for a very long time became very smitten with him. Within a week of giving my number to him I began to receive phone calls. These phone calls would last 4,5,6,7, hours one lasted all night long. This went on every night for months.
He began right away by telling me very personal information. I thought this was a bit off but dismissed it. He was very funny very charming and super intelligent. I fell really hard for him. I felt a connection like never in my life with another man. We had so much in common. i began to notice odd things during my book study at the church i noticed little things like comments and got the distinct feeling he was trying to get me to react. He was nasty a couple of times and I called him on it. Needless to say i was confused as there had been no provocation. Then i began to hear things like you are mis-reading. Then through text messaging i began to feel these circular conversations and he would tie me in knots verbally.. I started to take GCSE classes for math and english. I asked him to tutor me in Math. He played games with our appointments, cancelling at the last minute without a reason. When he did do a tutoring session I started to feel and pick up something malicious but dismissed it telling myself I was being crazy.
He gave me a pen drive so i could put some books on it for him. He told me that there were a couple of books on there just to delete them. When I put them in my trash bin a folder opened up it must have been hidden in the book by mistake.
On that folder was personal information, there was a unfinished will. I discovered he had changed his full name and he at one time had a male partner. i had suspected something like this as he never talked about past relationships, if he did he referred the relationship as we. He also told me he had been out to a well know pride community in the country I had lived in. That was my first clue. When i saw this will it confirmed what I already suspected. There was also a photo of a naked man with an erect penis in the folder.
I had to get baptised to join this church which is very small. After my baptism I wrote in a very nice letter and asked him not to contact me for the time i was gone I went to another church for a few weeks. My brain was fried and I needed some space. I also was fed up of the phone relationship I wanted more and thought it may call his bluff. In the letter I let him know I had formed an attachment to him. Big mistake.
He respectfully did not call me when I was gone. When i came back I grey rocked him, not knowing the term or that i was doing it. This threw him into anger. He gave me a look of utter contempt. I decided to stop over at his house to pick up a couple of my books and to find out why he had been so angry at me. He started with what makes you think it was at you routine.
I was there for a few minutes than left. Before i went over I had sent him a text which he ignored. The next day i got a text off him and the text messaging began. I put a stop to it and told him I could not continue. He hit speed dial and spent the next 4 hours in a rageful tirade. There are so many more details to my story. I spent the next 2 days in bed i could not move. I went to google and typed in emotional rape and came across NPD. I sent him a scathing test message and rebutted some of the things he said to me. I saw him last week and grey rocked him. I refuse to give up going to this church. I honestly do not know what I am dealing with. I do know without a shadow he has been abusive, He has this penetrating stare which has always unnerved me. He also scrutinises every move of mine. Unlike most on these forums I did not have a sexual relationship with him he never intimated ever what he wanted from me. As it stands now he has not called I sent him a text and asked him to bring the rest of my books back to the church this Saturday.
My sleep is disturbed I am depressed, I am angry, I miss talking to him. I need someone to help me figure out what I am dealing with. This experience has tapped into my personal demons I am aware most of what I am feeling is connected just as much to my past as it is to him. I have nobody I can talk to about this. I am in the Uk now and don't think i can find therapy that would be able to help me in this situation. I am so tempted to out him at the church. He does not know I know about his past gay life, I am also concerned he may start a smear campaign but if he does it will put him in a bad light.
Any input will be appreciated.
I joined a church and met Mr wonderful. Having not had a relationship by choice for a very long time became very smitten with him. Within a week of giving my number to him I began to receive phone calls. These phone calls would last 4,5,6,7, hours one lasted all night long. This went on every night for months.
He began right away by telling me very personal information. I thought this was a bit off but dismissed it. He was very funny very charming and super intelligent. I fell really hard for him. I felt a connection like never in my life with another man. We had so much in common. i began to notice odd things during my book study at the church i noticed little things like comments and got the distinct feeling he was trying to get me to react. He was nasty a couple of times and I called him on it. Needless to say i was confused as there had been no provocation. Then i began to hear things like you are mis-reading. Then through text messaging i began to feel these circular conversations and he would tie me in knots verbally.. I started to take GCSE classes for math and english. I asked him to tutor me in Math. He played games with our appointments, cancelling at the last minute without a reason. When he did do a tutoring session I started to feel and pick up something malicious but dismissed it telling myself I was being crazy.
He gave me a pen drive so i could put some books on it for him. He told me that there were a couple of books on there just to delete them. When I put them in my trash bin a folder opened up it must have been hidden in the book by mistake.
On that folder was personal information, there was a unfinished will. I discovered he had changed his full name and he at one time had a male partner. i had suspected something like this as he never talked about past relationships, if he did he referred the relationship as we. He also told me he had been out to a well know pride community in the country I had lived in. That was my first clue. When i saw this will it confirmed what I already suspected. There was also a photo of a naked man with an erect penis in the folder.
I had to get baptised to join this church which is very small. After my baptism I wrote in a very nice letter and asked him not to contact me for the time i was gone I went to another church for a few weeks. My brain was fried and I needed some space. I also was fed up of the phone relationship I wanted more and thought it may call his bluff. In the letter I let him know I had formed an attachment to him. Big mistake.
He respectfully did not call me when I was gone. When i came back I grey rocked him, not knowing the term or that i was doing it. This threw him into anger. He gave me a look of utter contempt. I decided to stop over at his house to pick up a couple of my books and to find out why he had been so angry at me. He started with what makes you think it was at you routine.
I was there for a few minutes than left. Before i went over I had sent him a text which he ignored. The next day i got a text off him and the text messaging began. I put a stop to it and told him I could not continue. He hit speed dial and spent the next 4 hours in a rageful tirade. There are so many more details to my story. I spent the next 2 days in bed i could not move. I went to google and typed in emotional rape and came across NPD. I sent him a scathing test message and rebutted some of the things he said to me. I saw him last week and grey rocked him. I refuse to give up going to this church. I honestly do not know what I am dealing with. I do know without a shadow he has been abusive, He has this penetrating stare which has always unnerved me. He also scrutinises every move of mine. Unlike most on these forums I did not have a sexual relationship with him he never intimated ever what he wanted from me. As it stands now he has not called I sent him a text and asked him to bring the rest of my books back to the church this Saturday.
My sleep is disturbed I am depressed, I am angry, I miss talking to him. I need someone to help me figure out what I am dealing with. This experience has tapped into my personal demons I am aware most of what I am feeling is connected just as much to my past as it is to him. I have nobody I can talk to about this. I am in the Uk now and don't think i can find therapy that would be able to help me in this situation. I am so tempted to out him at the church. He does not know I know about his past gay life, I am also concerned he may start a smear campaign but if he does it will put him in a bad light.
Any input will be appreciated.
