That's life..

I have a very pessimistic father and by the lens of his glass he see the world as evil.
That's what he really believe. But more than that, I notice that he want to believe that for a reason, to justify the evil he does.
I think that's what disturbed me most when I was more young.
The arguments goes like this.

"This is life! get used to it"
"It's the law of the strongest."
"Be realistic!"
"If you are not the best in school, you are stupid."
"If you are so smart, why you are not rich?"

He tried to show me "reality", but what was really behind the argument is that Evil is Normal.
So I studied lot of philosophy, but for a child, it's really easy to fall to the argument of "law of the strongest", just look around and see nature and animals eating one another and you can't defend yourself, can't say "no" to abuse, because that's normal, I'm weak, I'm whining, and the cycle continues, I was forbidden to claim love as a right.

But we are social animals... and even if there is no evil and good and nature is impartial, the advantages of be good and life in a society with the concept of justice is much more then the disadvantage. But some people want to have both the advantage of a social group and not pay the price, some people think they are above the rest! But the true is that they don't go very far alone.

"That's life. *shrug to abuse*" Is what my narcissistic father wanted me to do.
For me that small phase have a much different meaning.
That's life... let's life a good life.
This is the meaning of life for me. =)
I have the right to be loved, I have the right to fight the abuse.

Good for you keeping the higher ground. I'm with you. I have the idea that there should be a sort of Camelot. I just think that those who could make it happen are separated by space, time or abusers.

Hello fellow people , Iam very new to this so do be kind lol but my ex narc who still try's to his luck in making my life as difficult as possible has a phrase and it's " so what?!" When we were still in a relationship it was always said and even now it's still used. It's such a short and a childlike way but it had always felt like a knife in my back. I have been in this nightmare for almost 3 years and was diagnosed with PTSD last year.

Bettyrex wrote:Hello fellow people , Iam very new to this so do be kind lol but my ex narc who still try's to his luck in making my life as difficult as possible has a phrase and it's " so what?!" When we were still in a relationship it was always said and even now it's still used. It's such a short and a childlike way but it had always felt like a knife in my back. I have been in this nightmare for almost 3 years and was diagnosed with PTSD last year.

Welcome Bettyrex. It's a very dismissive and minimizing statement. No wonder it makes you feel bad. I've had nightmares my entire life, so I feel for you. But hang in there. As you start to heal, they do seem to get better. It's only in the last year that mine have eased up just a bit. I still get the night terrors, but they're fewer and the dreams are starting to take on more empowering symbolism. As you change, so will your dreams.

When your dreams change, your waking world starts to as well.

He always says that when I bring him up on something or when I found out things about him when we were still together I would naturally want to question him. Never a full explanation an at the most I used to get a very poor lame excuse of sorts that just stank of lies. I have flashbacks and they used to ocur so much it made me feel mad. I am getting so much better now , but I can't completely cut off my ex narc as we have a 2 year old son together. It's extremely hard work and is like climbing Everest without safety gear !