The Invisible Emotional Wounds You Carry Are Making You Vulnerable To Abuse

Ugh. Thanks for that Richard (she says somewhat sarcastically). I am beginning to realize that I didn't have such a great childhood, that my mother was narcissistic and I have abandonment wounds from being abandoned by, not one but two fathers! I got an extra bonus one just for playing.

I realize now that I was covertly trained, as you say in the video, to ignore the abuse, ignore the wounds and in fact to express my childhood as 'good'. And I am on my third covert narcissistic husband. Oh the abundance... but seriously, I feel like I am living now with my eyes wide open. Figuring out how all that childhood trauma worked on me even as my entire family denies anything 'bad' ever happened to me. No, sure, being sexually molested by my babysitter's son, having my bio-dad disappear at age 4, my beloved stepfather suddenly sucked out of my life at 11 - nice timing there too to hit right at those essential developmental stages - and one relationship after another with an abusive person. Thank goodness nothing really bad happened to me!

Mine was that perfect WASPY/Anglo American upbringing where you just did not talk about things, because, well that might cause accidental intimacy and oh lord who could handle that! But honestly the thing that saved my bacon was that I found drama at age 7 - a place where not only are emotions OK but you can actually express them, talk about them! But even still, in the breaking free of my current husband I have been discovering so much about how my childhood affected me, how much my mother abuses me still to this day but she is so good and subtle and of course one is not allowed to call it abuse or talk about it at all.

Good lord but it is a tangle to unravel. It is the good work though.

Yeah...it sucks, being programmed from birth, but the upside is that now we know and now we get to learn and change.  Knowledge is power.  We didn't have the knowledge before, now we do, now we get our power.

wow I realised from an early age that I have been suffering from PTSD but have never had it fully described CPTSD its amazing where you find healing when you need to... Mom borderline narcissist due to her own sexual abuse etc (now she has had her own healing, its wonderful) 1x ex husband which I believe to be a narcissistic sociopath and in a relationship for 4 years with who I am wondering is also a borderline narc... Although the narc tendencies don't seem to rear until he is wounded/ or in a corner. I wonder though if people who are empathy's/ empathic that are damaged become narc's to protect themselves from 'the world'. Yes I also realise I am the 'wounded healer' however information is a great tool in self healing. Really love your vids they are so down to earth and funny.

I first talked to you Richard, only one month after I came out of the NPD fog. That was 2 years ago. Now, I am considering divorce as I have realized how much my husband of 11 years has abused me all these years. He is not NPD- but has mild autism (who knew!?) with anger issues.
I also realize that my daughter's anxiety was exacerbated by growing up with an easily triggered, broken mom and she has been verbally abusive for years. She is almost grown now, and I have guilt of having hurt her emotionally (by being an emotional mess bc of my mom's NPD and abuse from all the family)- now she mourns the loss of a family I helped her imagine (my npd mom and all her minions). I brought her into my "Pollyanna Wonderland" and when it all shattered and I *saw it all* it was her loss too; but she still doesn't really see it and misses them.
What are your thoughts on the children of the scapegoat and the NPD grandparents as they grow into teens and adults? What is the position that we should take if they want to reach out to them when you are NC with them and you know how fucking evil and powerful they are.
#savethechildren is what comes to mind.

Also, you stated in a recent video that all narcissists will admit to being narcs. I don't think that applies for religious narcs as they are the opposite-- they want to be "perfect" and "martyrs" - being a narc would not fit the Biblical character values so they will not admit that. Am I wrong to think that?

Thank you