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    Destroying the world to save it

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    D3lt4

    Posts : 25
    Join date : 2018-07-24
    Location : Valencia

    Destroying the world to save it

    Post by D3lt4 on Tue Oct 30, 2018 10:51 am

    Grandiosity has been my silent big blocker. I thought only psychopaths- and the like- have grandiosity. I thought grandiosity meant 'having bad intention'. Ah so I have good intentions,..... all I want to pursue must be 'good'. Fucking hell.

    Grandiosity is behind anything I do. I have to cook 'the best meal' coz yeah everything is grandiose. I have to help my family coz hell yeah what would they do if they are so stupid, I will guide them through the 'correct' path.

    Don't come with me to the hospital, I don't need anyone else, I don't need any help... That's what I swore when I was 8 years old and I was so tired of opening myself to my family and then I would be crushed once and again and again and again. 'Love is not for me' was sealed into my soul.

    So grandiosity came to take its place instead. No true intimacy any more. No true openness. No love.

    Grandiosity is my shadow following me everywhere I go. Even being bisexual -hey this is controversial!- was part of my grandiosity. If others can have relationships with girls why wouldn't I?

    Grandiosity as one of the biggest lies you tell yourself when you follow that political ideology - but don't call it ideology, that's offensive, I'm too smart to fall into that BS... only others fall into the trap, those second class humans that are trapped into some sad ideology! Way far from me, I'm too smart. My thoughts are 'analytical thinking'! Coz bloody hell, I'm an analytical guy. I trust smart and we'll intentioned people. There's no room for mistakes in my head coz everything is so clear is like 'magic'. Only those touched by this magical reason are blessed to understand the Truth. Are you saying I think all those (not thinking like me) are second class humans? No way! I wouldn't be thinking anything like this. I 'just' think I've been touched by some kind of magical reason. I'm very lucky, you know, I can try explaining to you how I think so you become part of this selected circle of smart minds. However I don't think I'm a really smart person, and I'm ashamed all the time about myself and my relationship with others. So hell yes I found something that really 'fills me' inside. I feel alive. Now I'm surrounded by people who 'understands' the same things I do. They're my colleagues, I never had colleagues, I don't feel so lonely.

    In fact, this is a war. My ideas about technology, about politics,.. sorry, .. I mean, my analytical thinking has such an immaculate purpose that anyone against it is my enemy. I'll do anything to fight for a better world. They're selfish bastards. There's people like me needed to fight for a better world.......

    Somehow, totally unwillingly I became an evangelist. I refuse to say that I follow an ideology but I become an evangelist. I tell everyone how amazing this is. The world is such a beautiful place with the effort of amazing people like me willing to help for the cause, of course for free. It becomes automatic. I have the need to evangelize about my ideas, I'm a 24/7 sales rep! Of course, without being paid - that's offensive for this sacred purpose which is so pure and honest that talking about money would make it ruin and common. This extreme obsession of course is not called like that. I understood that living with a purpose is called PASSION.

    Sexual grandiosity is called BICURIOUS.

    My political ideology is called ANALYTICAL THINKING.

    The rest of the world doesn't understand the 'magic' of living a life with purpose (manipulated), working for free (passion...?), and being an open minded person with homosexual tendencies (People just don't understand!). You all are so fucking wrong. And yet grandiosity only belongs to psychopaths.... WAIT A MINUTE.

    But don't worry. Here's empathy to the rescue.

    No more feeling 'over the top' when you feel EQUAL to others, when you are at the same level, when you really feel like others have the same rights than you. Trying to feel what the other is feeling but in a healthy way. Humbly acknowledging others at the same level destroys all the grandiosity shield your mind wants to build to 'protect' you, to make you the heroe of a movie in your head, the saviour, and of course so blindly following the good intentions you 'forget' about the consequences. Moreover you become mentally disabled about properly analysing the dark outcomes that may come with your ideas if implemented.
    Moreover, you make several attempts to question your ideas unsuccessfully: you're surrounded by other 'colleagues' with the same ideas, making it an echo chamber where you have become isolated from any other opinions. What a brilliant idea!.... Yes! Social media is great for building echo chambers... Who has realised about this?.. of course our 'friends', our dear psychopaths! Always looking for ways to exploit ppl in some way... Or another......

    Then there's the so called 'algorithms' in Silicon valley? Don't you know them? Ok, I'll explain... In silicon valley everything, like EVERYTHING, is automated. So how to 'automate' who to follow in Twitter or Facebook? Easy peasy - just suggest people with the same ideas! WHAT A FUCKING BRILLIANT IDEA! Let's build fanatics and make it extremely easy for manipulators to create an echo chamber, in fact, social media make this work for psychopaths already - lazy work they have...

    So yeah bring on all those algorithms! As a psychopath, I've found heaven. All of them repeating the same things all around the world (we already know they all go to the same school...). So what about looking for the seed of hate to polarise society, how fun this is for a psychopath! Let's create hate against governments, let's fight for a 'good cause', DESTROYING THE WORLD TO SAVE IT (paraphrasing Robert Jay Lifton by the title of his great book).

    So fuck these fucking grandiose ideals, fuck it all.

    Connected to these ideals are the babies of the Matrix and psychopaths sucking the energy from all of us.

      Current date/time is Mon Nov 19, 2018 4:42 pm