Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support

    Torture and abuse as 'normal' from one generation to the next one


    Posts : 68
    Join date : 2018-07-24
    Location : Europe

    Torture and abuse as 'normal' from one generation to the next one Empty Torture and abuse as 'normal' from one generation to the next one

    Post by D3lt4 on Sun Oct 14, 2018 9:46 am

    One of the most painful things a codependent has to face is that they are abusive against their will. This is one of the most horrible things to face, as they are in many cases, very sensitive people and high critics of abusive behaviour. Then, abusive behaviour is encoded within us and hidden, justified as something not as bad as it really is.

    This makes codependents the perfect weapon for narcissists. They use us, codependents, to harm others, and we don't notice the harm we are doing. It took me a while to digest this, and I'm still trying to digest this. Not sure if I will be able to ever properly digest it.

    As soon as I learned about this uncomfortable truth, I decided that as my main mission was ending with abusive relationships, I had to start learning more about myself instead of pointing others about their abusive behaviours.

    So the truth is that we, as codependents, need to understand ourselves to stop abuse to stay from one generation to another. I know, this is extremely painful. It's way more convenient and comfortable to criticise how abusive others are, especially psychopaths, instead of fixing ourselves. Not saying that those bastards are doing harm, they do a lot of harm, but if we put our attention in them we 'forget' about us too. Remember they are 'ill' and their illness is not curable. However, we've been left with enough consciousness so we can work on being aware ourselves and break the chain of abuse.

    Also, not being aware of the abuse, doesn't exempt you from the consequences of abusive behaviour. That is, if you 'a good person' but you have a 'hidden part' where you are abusive with your daughter, unwillingly, you will face the consequences of having a daughter with mental health problems. You'll have a miserable life and you will be unable to see where the harm came from.

    Coming up with a maybe different subject. As I was going through different abusive behaviour done to women all around the world, from wearing a hijab, to female genital mutilation, all of it points to the fact that women are considered 'second class' humans, or maybe, non humans yet by our society. Religions all around the world claim women are born 'sinful' and hence, they should be punished (WTF). Just for the fact of being born female, you are some kind of sinful animal in this world that should be tortured and abused. (Sorry, I don't like the word 'human rights', I think it's misleading, I prefer to call it straight away 'abusive' and 'torture', as those are their names).

    When looking for who perform these abusive behaviours guess what... no, they are not men in most cases, they are women themselves who torture other women and even 'fight' to defend their 'culture'. Ok, so there's something very wrong here. Is this abusive behaviour unwillingly stamped or tattooed into these women's brains after they were abused themselves? No one would obviously cause harm purposely on ourselves..... right? well, abused children tend to harm to themselves when in the adulthood, or while being a teenager. They seemed 'disconnected' from themselves so they can perform all sort of things towards themselves that functional people won't ever do. For functional people is extremely hard to understand why someone would harm themselves like this.

    (Just between you and me, I've heard psychopaths using these behaviours in traumatised people against them to make functional people even more confused about the real nature of their behaviours. They bring some 'evil intention' to anything traumatised adults do, hence making it even more difficult for functional people to understand or to accept there's not 'intention' when doing so, as this is some unwilling behaviour. These bastards cause so much chaos. Bastards.)

    But let's not move the focus too far from ourselves. Again, imagine you're born in one of those countries where they consistently abuse women. Would you do it? They're no different from you and me. Maybe it's difficult to think you'd do something like that to other women. Then, would you pierce your daughter's ear when she's born without asking her? I don't think this is pleasant for her, but this is 'a tradition'. Would you do it just because it's a tradition? Is it 'less important' if it's a tradition? Do you minimise the abuse telling yourself that 'you survived and it is not as bad anyways'?

    I don't think we will ever really live in a peaceful society if we don't fully understand and work hard within ourselves to stop abuse. The fact that we don't like (probably we hate) abuse, then we minimise it, and then, this works against us, because we aren't able to see it when we're doing it.

    Finally, it is not that we support abusive behaviour, but the fact we can't cope with it and we minimise it (maybe some other psychological traits play too), it's what makes it permanent. We turn into something like into 'abusive soldiers', we somehow, unwillingly obey, and we're programmed to be abusive.

    So we have enough shit against us (women) and I don't want to through any more shit against us, we have enough already, don't we? However, this message means that this process goes against our will, as opposed what psychopaths say, this process is not intentional, and we are the main victims of this chain of abuses. Yes, we are the main victims.

    So, yeah, we need to workout all this mess ourselves, or we will be stuck in the Middle Ages for ever.

    Writing this post was painful, but what the hell, we need strength to confront the truth to fix this mess. I'll do a few push-ups to burn my anger now.

    Torture and abuse as 'normal' from one generation to the next one Giphy

    Posts : 68
    Join date : 2018-07-24
    Location : Europe

    Torture and abuse as 'normal' from one generation to the next one Empty Re: Torture and abuse as 'normal' from one generation to the next one

    Post by D3lt4 on Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:46 am

    So human beings have the potential no normalise any type of abuse of torture, even if it goes against their own interests. WTF

    See women opposing to their own rights, which is the same, defending their own abuse. In the West we have the same thing, but it is not so obvious or visual, but the phenomenon occurs the same anywhere.

      Current date/time is Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:52 am