Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


2 posters

    (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself

    kibou
    kibou


    Posts : 25
    Join date : 2017-05-06
    Age : 46
    Location : Madrid

    (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself Empty (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself

    Post by kibou Sun May 13, 2018 2:32 pm

    I have a difficult time any time an empath approaches me to give too much of themselves. I have a bad time because I feel my boundaries are being crushed.

    I have already tried telling them that what they are doing does not make any sense because they are not helping me. They get rather sad, and they make me feel bad for refusing their presents and the unnecessary help. Telling them that I don't need that kind of help and to better focus on something else they need more, it did not cause a positive reaction on them so far. They keep with the same automatic pilot on doing the same over and over again. I don't get any change on them.

    There are so many videos from Richard now that he might have the answer somewhere, but I can't find it. Any suggestions on how to challenge these ideas on them? They are close relatives, so it is difficult to avoid.

    Thank you.
    avatar
    Jenimaz


    Posts : 6
    Join date : 2018-05-18

    (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself Empty Re: (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself

    Post by Jenimaz Sun May 20, 2018 7:21 pm

    That's not empaths hun. That is attempted control from smothering relatives. Empaths, by definition, respect your boundaries. They FEEL your pain, or at least understand it. The sad faces are a manipulation technique.You won't find what you are looking for exactly in Richard's videos because your problem is of a different nature. There is an answer but you won't like it - and neither will they. You aren't setting your boundaries firmly enough. No one can crush your boundaries unless you allow them to. I suspect that you have been very polite in your refusing their help and gifts. I am not suggesting that you should be rude but the only way to stop this is to be VERY firm. The change has to come from YOU.Your body language and tone of voice must show that you have had enough of this nonsense. They will try more control manipulation techniques, more sad faces. If you do it well probably tears from them as they step up their game, increase the pressure on you. Keep on standing your ground. If you do they will start to have some respect for you. It won't be easy but it will be worth it.
    kibou
    kibou


    Posts : 25
    Join date : 2017-05-06
    Age : 46
    Location : Madrid

    (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself Empty Re: (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself

    Post by kibou Tue May 22, 2018 8:55 pm

    Thanks. At the beginning I was a bit confused with your answer but I think you're right.

    The sad thing is that they don't have NPD but they are empaths with narcissistic traits, unfortunately. I'm quite sure about this. They are in a very bad stage with their mental health issues.

    Your advice is very important for me. I'll remain firm. I hate this passive aggressively attitude where I seem to be the bad person all the time just for trying to protect my boundaries.

    Thanks again.
    avatar
    Jenimaz


    Posts : 6
    Join date : 2018-05-18

    (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself Empty Re: (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself

    Post by Jenimaz Wed May 23, 2018 4:55 am

    They are NOT empaths hun. Not NPD either. Manipulative, smothering yes. There are no good intentions behind their behaviour. It is about controlling you. They may well love you, it is family after all but damaging behaviour is not loving. Stay firm. You need very strong boundaries with that kind of family. Good luck! x

    Sponsored content


    (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself Empty Re: (Being a robot) Too much altruism and giving too much of yourself

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Fri Mar 29, 2024 5:50 am